The Heart Is An Open Door
by dublin writer
Summary: After a tough first week without Steve as his partner, Mike finds an unexpected late night visitor outside his house. Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. They belong to Quinn Martin. I merely borrow them for my muse to play with. Set after Thrill Killers.


**The Heart Is An Open Door**

 **A\N: Due to ongoing health issues and current Real Life problems I am finding it increasingly more difficult to update my ongoing stories here and I am having a hard time juggling everything so I am afraid over the weekend I made the decision to take a temporary leave of absence from the fandom. I have decided that it is more important right now to try to get my health and real life back on track and hope you all understand my decision. I want to reassure the followers of my incomplete stories that I will still be working on completing them in my absence and as I get one completed I will then return to update it fully. I feel this is the only way I can cope at the minute so as a thank you to all those who have supported me here I dedicate this one shot as a parting thank you gift. xx**

Mike signed the form in front of him and placing it inside the latest case file, he closed it and leaned back in his chair, throwing the pen onto the desk as he did. Taking off his glasses, he placed them down as well and rubbed wearily at his tired eyes. It had been a long and tiring week at Bryant Street, his first without Steve as his official partner and Mike had found it tough. Dan Robbins was a fine young man and had already shown himself more than capable to be a replacement partner. Mike knew he would be an excellent asset to the Homicide Department and a good man to have as his back up. He had the same infectious energy and the same quick thinking mind as Steve had but that was where the similarities ended.

Mike found himself missing the camaraderie that he had shared with his former partner. He missed the playful banter they shared and the fight over whether or not they would get anchovies on their pizza from Tony's but most of all he missed the way they worked so well together. Over the course of their partnership, they had grown to know exactly what the other was thinking and now he was having to get used to someone new. Their first week had been successful in that they had solved their first case as partners and their perp was now tucked up safely down in the holding cells. Dan's quick thinking had been a great asset and teamed with Mike's vast experience they had solved the case and brought in their man. So why did he still feel so nostalgic, wishing that it was just a temporary arrangement while Steve recovered.

Mike had sent Dan home at around eight pm insisting that he would finish up the paperwork. The young man had worked hard on the case all week and seemed to be trying to make a good impression on his new Lieutenant so Mike figured he had earned an early night. As it was a Friday, Dan had been more than happy to accept the kind offer. The week hadn't gone by without it's few awkward moments while him and Dan adjusted to each other. On more than a couple of occasions Mike had referred to Dan as Steve and flustered accordingly and Dan was still slipping up frequently by addressing him as Sir but they both understood the other's transgressions in the difficult initial transition period and had stopped making an issue over them and as the week had wore on those moments had thankfully become fewer as they both tried a little harder to address the other correctly.

It was now coming up to around ten thirty pm and the paperwork was finished. The bull pen was currently deserted and the light from his office was the only one still lit apart from the light streaming in from the outside corridor that bathed the bullpen in a faint glow. As he sat at his desk he looked out into the darker outer bullpen and found his gaze alighting on Steve's old desk which was now Dan's, now just illuminated barely in the dim light. He missed seeing his old partner sitting there, either typing or on the phone or pouring over files and found himself thinking about how he was doing.

They had only spoken once briefly during the week when Mike had called him after he had gotten home from work on Monday evening. They had talked for just a little while and Steve had seemed to be in good spirits looking forward to starting his new job the following week. Healthwise he had said he was fine but that never convinced Mike and he wondered how he was really doing. Considering how serious his injury had been, Mike knew that the young man's recovery would be a long and slow process and he also knew that Steve was still attending the heart specialist at the Hospital for regular check ups and was still nursing a nasty scar down the middle of his chest and even nastier bad memories of the shooting. That information however hadn't been given freely by his old partner but rather had been gleaned instead from his daughter Jeannie who had been keeping up more regular contact with him even from Arizona in her concern for his well being.

Not that Mike hadn't wanted to ring more often but he had felt torn. Apart from how busy work had been, there were times he had picked up his phone to ring Steve and before he had dialled the last number he had hung up. Steve was about to carve out a new career for himself and he felt that he needed to give the young man some space to do just that. He had felt that perhaps by ringing he might remind Steve of the career he had left behind or if he was being honest with himself, he didn't want reminding of the fact either. Seeing a different person sitting at Steve's desk and in the driving seat every day on the job was hard enough to get used to without hearing Steve's voice and reminding him of the partner he'd lost. He had however vowed though, to go and see him over the weekend and perhaps bring him out for a slap up lunch in Mamma's to wish him well for his first day in his new job on Monday. He had even arranged for to take the next two days off especially to catch up with the young man. But right now his tired body just needed to get home and get some sleep, so standing up and putting on his coat and hat, he flicked the light switch off and exited his office, sliding his hand along the back of Steve's old chair nostalgically before heading for his car.

The drive home was even more tiring as it had been raining hard all day and the wet road was reflecting the city lights making his eyes even more tired as he concentrated on getting home in one piece. As he turned onto De Haro Street he shook his head in disbelief as he first spotted the gold colored Porsche parked outside his house. Pulling in just behind it at the curb, he glanced at his watch and saw that it was just turning eleven pm and he wondered what Steve was doing there so late at night. His first instinct was to worry that something was wrong and so he quickly turned off the engine and exited the car to see if the young man was ok but as he exited the car he saw Steve getting out gingerly too at the same time and he rushed over to greet him.

Steve turned and looked sheepishly at him and Mike studied him visibly. He looked ok outwardly. Still a little on the skinny side perhaps. He had lost a lot of weight after the shooting as his appetite which had never been great to begin with became almost nonexistent. The constant need for painkillers and the mere thought and feel of the extensive scar that his heart surgery had caused seemed to always bother him and make him feel nauseous and it was only over the course of the last two weeks that Jeannie had finally won the war and got him eating properly again with the homecooked meals she knew he would eventually be unable to resist. While he definitely saw an improvement in his partner weightwise, he would like to see him gain a little more to return to the weight he had been before the shooting.

The young man was dressed casually in a red shirt, the top two buttons open, teamed with brown trousers and his regular brown boots and he marvelled how the young man still managed to look stylish even in casual clothes. The boyish wavy brown locks were still the same and the familiar smile that he missed seeing everyday still adorned his face as he watched Mike approach.

"Hello Michael."

"Hi Buddy boy. I must say I wasn't expecting to see you when I got home but I sure am glad to see you. Is ... everything ok?" Mike asked as he gripped Steve's hand in a friendly handshake, still afraid to hug the young man for fear of hurting him in his recovery.

"Oh yeah, everything's fine. I was just out taking a drive and thought I'd drop by and see if you were home. I ah ... well I wanted to bring back some dishes that Jeannie left me last weekend when she was home. "

"How long have you been waiting in the car?"

"Oh, not long. Just a little while. Actually I was just about to forget it and go home when I saw you in the rearview mirror."

Mike could sense that something was off about the young man despite the friendly banter and so he replied enthusiastically despite how tired he felt .

"Well I'm glad I didn't miss you. Come on up and have some coffee. I was just going to make some."

"No, no that's ok. You look beat. l'll just give you the dishes, let you get to bed and go home. "

Steve went to turn to reach into the passenger seat and retrieve the empty dishes when Mike stopped him by gripping his arm.

"Is there something you don't like about my coffee?"

Steve flustered.

"NO, no of course not. I just don't want to keep you up that's all. "

"Don't you worry about keeping me up. Just because I'm a lot older than you doesn't mean I can't manage a late night if I have to. Now come on up. It's a bit chilly tonight after all that rain we had today and you look frozen. "

Taking the empty dishes from the car, Steve smiled and allowed Mike to steer him up the many steps to the house and then inside. Mike had noticed the way Steve still held his chest carefully and how he had come up the many steps a lot slower than he used to. When inside, Mike removed his coat and hat and hung them up and then called back to Steve as he headed for the kitchen to make the coffee.

"Make yourself at home while I make the coffee ..."

Steve headed for the couch and sat down slowly. It was the first time he had been in Mike's home since the shooting and the young man found it strange that this time he was here as a visitor rather than as a work colleague. Having put on the coffee to percolate, he returned to Steve and seeing his paler than usual features he decided to set a small fire to warm the young man up. Kneeling down in front of the hearth, he started setting it when Steve began to protest.

"Mike, you don't have to light that just for me. I'm just staying for one coffee that's all. Please don't go to all that trouble ... It's late ..."

Mike turned his head and answered reassuringly.

"Now who said I was lighting it just for you? These old bones are feeling the chill tonight too and its NO trouble."

Soon after, the coffee was ready and the fire was blazing. Despite his protests, Steve had moved over to the armchair and actually was enjoying the comforting warmth that was coming from it. He accepted the coffee cup gratefully as Mike handed it to him and sat down in the opposite armchair. Slapping his knee as he sat down Mike spoke enthusiastically.

"So ... How have you been doing Buddy boy? How's the chest?"

Steve took a comforting sip of his coffee before answering.

"Yeah, I'm good ... It's coming along ... "

Another sip of coffee and he continued awkwardly.

"How are you and Dan getting along?"

"Oh fine ... He's a little green but he's got a lot up here." Mike answered tapping his temple as he did. " I think he'll go far."

"Well, I was a little green too when I started remember? I hope you're not giving him as hard a time as you did me when I started. " Steve added teasingly and smiled when he saw Mike's affronted expression.

"What are you talking about? I was never hard on you."

"Oh no? What about the "boy wonder " comments and the college educated wise cracks, huh?"

That answer made Mike chuckle.

"Ok, ok maybe I was a little tough on you at the start but it didn't do you any harm did it? As I recall you took it well and look at the fine cop you ... turned into ..."

It was Mike's turn to look uncomfortable as their usual playful banter turned awkward at his last statement and sipping at his coffee, he watched Steve smile awkwardly back and turn his gaze to the fire so he quickly changed the conversation.

"So ... Are you looking forward to Monday?"

Instead of the enthusiastic reply he expected, Steve hesitated slightly before casually answering.

"Yeah ... I'm excited ... They ah .. called me over yesterday to show me my office ..."

"Your very own office, huh? Well you are coming up in the world hotshot. Were you pleased with it?" Mike asked not sensing that he was, despite asking.

"Yeah ... It's nice. Small but it's got a good view over the campus but ah ..."

Again Steve paused and took a few sips of coffee.

"But what?"

"It's a little quiet. I guess I'm used to the noise of the bullpen, huh?" Steve said smiling again purposefully but something about his smile unnerved the older man.

Mike sensed an apprehension which was he thought quite understandable. After all the young man was embarking on a big change in his life but he somehow felt the need to reassure him and to support him so he again spoke enthusiastically.

"Oh you'll soon get used to that... Besides, you need that quiet to do whatever professor stuff you need to do right? "

Again Steve just nodded agreeably before drinking more from his cup.

"You're not ... worried about it, are you?"

"No ...no, I can do the job. A little nervous maybe. New place, new people to work with and teach ... It's a little daunting ... but I'll be ok."

"You'll do great Steve ... I know you will ..."

"Yeah ..." Steve stated flatly before leaning forward with his elbows on his knees as he stared into the flames wistfully.

As he did Mike saw the beginning of his scar peeking out from the top of his shirt and he swallowed hard, the harsh reminder of how close he had come to losing his friend now staring him in the face in the glow from the fire. He sat back further in his chair to avoid the view and an awkward silence fell between them for several seconds before Steve made an attempt to breach it.

"How are all the guys doing back at Bryant Street? Have I missed anything?"

"Oh, they're all ok. Norm is still telling the same jokes and eating everything around him and Lee and Bill are fine. Art became a grandfather again. A granddaughter and I swear he hasn't stopped smiling since. They ah ... ask about you a lot. You know ... how you're doing and that kind of thing ..."

Steve smiled again.

"Tell them I was asking for them too, will you Mike?"

"Sure, sure. Has ... Jeannie been in touch with you?"

Steve straightened back up a little, the first hint of a genuine smile crossing his lips.

"Are you kidding? She calls me every night at around eight and asks the same things. Have I taken my pills? Am I eating properly? Am I sleeping ok? She never forgets ..."

Mike laughed.

"That's my Jeannie alright! A real mother hen ..."

The two men smiled at each other and then the same awkward silence descended. Steve felt strange. They had never been this uncomfortable and awkward around each other before and it was starting to unnerve him. He had noticed it since just shortly after he had woken up at the Hospital after the shooting. The initial wink Mike had given him was the last contact that he had felt was anything resembling their normal interactions. After that Mike had barely visited, choosing instead to always have messages left with the nurses for him or with Jeannie who became his one constant visitor over those gruelling and difficult two weeks when the pain had been intense and the recovery had been it's most difficult. Every time that door to his room had opened he had hoped to see Mike but ... it never was. Until the day he was being released from the Hospital when Dan had followed the older man into the room, causing his initial pleased reaction to slump slightly. The fact that Dan had been there meant that he hadn't felt able to talk as freely as he had wanted to and the parting that morning at his apartment had been emotional but lacking somehow and now over the last two weeks Mike had only called or visited once or twice to just check that he was ok, again leaving most of the work to Jeannie who had been constant in her concern for him despite being in Arizona for most of it.

It was almost like the older man was avoiding him and he worried that Mike was annoyed with him for leaving the Department and that he was losing him as a friend and a mentor, something that he felt would be more painful than the open heart surgery he had undergone. Unable to stand the awkward silence a second longer he spoke shakily, still staring at the flames for fear that catching Mike's eye would cause an involuntary reaction that he would later regret as he felt the heartache build that didn't have anything to do with the injury he had received.

"Mike? Why haven't ... you ... called?"

There was the question that Mike knew in his heart had been causing the awkward silence between them and yet although he knew it was inevitably going to be asked ,he still wasn't prepared for it. He looked up and saw Steve's eyes staring into the flames and knew it had taken a lot for him to find the courage to ask it and so he knew he deserved his honest answer but something was blocking the words from forming. Instead without thinking he blurted out defensively.

" I did ... Last Monday ... Don't you remember?"

Steve found the courage within to look from the fire back at Mike and with a more steady voice he stated plainly.

" But only because Jeannie told you to ..."

Mike's face fell and he saw the deep hurt evident in Steve's eyes. It was his turn to answer with a barely audible tremor in his voice.

"Did she ... tell you that?"

Steve shook his head, maintaining eye contact but finding it harder as the conversation went on.

"No ... She didn't have to. When she rang me Sunday night she asked if you'd been in touch and when I told her you hadn't been, I could hear her intentions in her voice. Are you avoiding me Mike? Are you mad at me for leaving the Department because if you are ..."

Before Steve could finish Mike sat forward and gripped Steve's arm tightly and the pressure he exerted alarmed the younger man. A deep sorrow crossed Mike's face and Steve became concerned by the older man's demeanor as he spoke.

"NO, Buddy boy. Not at all. I'm not mad at you. It's not you. It's ME ... "

He stopped speaking as if he was trying to find the right words to explain himself and Steve hadn't seen him this way before. He waited patiently until Mike continued.

"Look Steve, I don't know if I can explain it that well but ...well I'll try. You see that night that you were shot and I arrived on the scene, you were in a very bad way and when we drove to the Hospital and I held you on the back seat ... I could almost feel you ebbing away from me. I yelled at you to hold on and NOT to quit on me and ... Thank God you didn't ...We waited at the Hospital and thankfully you came out of the surgery ok but when that Doctor told me that you'd been shot IN the heart something happened inside me. Like a bomb went off in my stomach and it was the same sickening feeling I got when they told me that ... well that Helen's cancer was terminal. I thought I was going to lose you too and seeing as you had become like ... the son I never had ... well I just couldn't stand it. We waited until you woke up and went in to see you and when I saw you in that bed with that white dressing covering your chest and wires and tubes everywhere ... I ... "

Steve couldn't bear to hear Mike's heartbreaking explanation any further and he grabbed the hand that was on his arm.

"Mike ...that's ok. You don't have to say anymore. I understand ..."

"No Steve, please let me finish. It's important that I tell you this. When Helen died I pushed Jeannie away. She was so like her mother that every time I looked at her it reminded me of what I'd lost and I couldn't bear it. Instead of helping her grieve I pushed her away but Thank God she made me see sense and then I was able to make it up to her. With you, I knew I'd lost a partner and I knew how close we came to losing you completely and everytime I saw you or spoke to you I was reminded of it and it ... made me feel ... so bad. Bad that I couldn't help you , bad that I wasn't with you that night to save you. Bad that I hadn't seen how much you'd been struggling to use your gun before it happened. So yes ... I avoided you but NOT because I didn't care. But rather because I cared too much. I'M SORRY buddy boy. I let you down ... and I'm really ... REALLY sorry. "

Steve could hear and see the obvious remorse in Mike's voice and face and he squeezed his hand affectionately. He didn't quite trust his voice to answer but he knew he needed to show Mike that there was no ill will on his part so he took a few deep breaths and tried to keep his voice from breaking.

"That's ok Mike. You didn't let me down. I ... I understand now. I'm just glad you're not upset with me. Because you've become family to me and a best friend and if I thought for one minute that I'd lost that ... Then I'd just as soon have ... died back on that operating table. "

Mike's bottom lip quivered and he grabbed the back of Steve's neck and shook it affectionately.

" Hey, hey now. Don't say that! I'm real glad you didn't and I'm even gladder that you came over tonight and we cleared the air. I'll make it up to you. I promise. "

Both men felt like a weight had been lifted off their shoulders after the brief conversation and Mike felt it was time to lighten the mood a little so he shook Steve again and forced a smile.

"I guess I don't cope well with change, huh?"

That made Steve grin too and he answered.

"Then I guess that makes two of us."

"Well, things may have changed but ... I still expect to see that car of yours out there on a regular basis. You got that?"

Steve nodded.

"Ok Mike."

Then wagging his finger playfully at the younger man he added.

"And if it's not, I'm going to be asking you WHY not?"

Steve smiled and so did Mike, the last few weeks strain between them finally lifting and the first semblance of their old partnership filtering back through.

Mike let go of Steve and clapped his hands together.

"Say ... I think there's some of Jeannie's coffee cake left. Would you like some and a refill of that coffee?"

But Steve declined politely.

"No, no thanks Mike. As tempting as that is I have to be up early tomorrow for an appointment so I better be going but I'm glad we had this chat."

He stood up to say his goodbyes but Mike's facial expression changed and he stood up and spoke urgently.

"Hold on a second, Steve. What sort of appointment? With the college or are you talking about a Doctor's appointment ?"

Steve cursed himself for mentioning it and stammered reluctantly.

"It's a hospital appointment ... Why?"

"Oh wait a minute now ... You said you were driving around earlier. Now you normally do that when you're worried about something and then you made your way here. Something's going on with you that you're not telling. Isn't it? Come on ... Spill! What is it? "

Steve's expression changed and he couldn't believe that Mike had figured it out. After hearing how badly Steve's shooting and subsequent surgery had affected the older man he had decided not to tell him the rest, so he tried to brush it off as nothing.

"No, nothing's going on Mike ..."

"BUDDY BOY! Don't you lie to me now ... I know you, remember? I can tell when you're holding out on me." Then lowering his voice and pleading gently he added. " Now please Steve ... Sit down and tell me what's going on. Will you? ... "

Steve knew that Mike was on to him so he sighed heavily and sat back down reluctantly and began wringing his hands together, an action which served to worry Mike even more. Mike sat down and pulled his chair closer to Steve's as he waited for the young man to speak. Eventually, Steve began.

" Alright ... I wasn't going to say anything but ... Well it's nothing to worry about but ... I've been getting some pains ..."

Mike felt his stomach somersault.

"In your chest?"

Steve nodded dolefully.

"Yeah ... Just on and off over the last two days ..."

"STEVE! That might be serious . Have you called your Doctor? Because if you haven't ..."

"Mike RELAX. I DID! Yesterday. I called him and told him. He said it's probably nothing to worry about, just afterpains from the surgery but he wants me to go in tomorrow and have it checked out just in case. "

"What kind of check?"

"He called it an angiogram . Apparently they put a hollow tube though a ... vein in your arm and inject some sort of dye into the blood vessels and they can get pictures of the valves in your heart and they can see how it's functioning and the best part is I get to be awake while they're doing it. Neat huh?" Steve added sarcastically.

Steve's face turned a shade whiter as he explained what was going to happen and knowing his hatred of needles, Mike could only imagine how much he was dreading such an invasive procedure. Seeing Mike's face look horrified Steve tried to offset the trauma by joking.

"And here's me thinking that the way to a man's heart was through his stomach not his arm, huh? Or maybe that just works for Norm, Eh?"

To Steve's dismay his joke hadn't worked and Mike remained gravely serious.

"Did they say how long it would take?"

"Less than an hour but I ... may have to stay for up to four hours afterwards just for observation because they give you a sedative to make you drowsy and relaxed during the procedure so that has to wear off. "

Mike listened carefully and quietly to everything Steve had said but still felt something was being withheld.

"Are there risks involved ?"

"No, not really. I mean it's a fairly common procedure but what with my heart still healing they just said that they'd take extra care with it ... you know?"

"Well it must be bothering you if you went driving around? Is that why you came over to see me?"

"Yeah, I guess I am a little anxious about it but just in case anything went wrong I ... I just wanted to talk to you. I was worrying about you being mad with me and the car just kind of drove itself here ... "

Steve blushed and forced another smile to cover up the worry in his voice. Mike clasped his shoulder.

"How long were you really parked out there?"

Steve blushed even redder.

"About an hour and a half."

Both men began to chuckle more from nerves and to dispel the worry and tension more than anything else. Mike squeezed Steve's shoulder and spoke as the laughter died down.

"What am I gonna do with you, huh? Ok, well that settles it."

"Settles what?" Steve asked curiously.

"You're not going anywhere tonight. You're going to crash in my spare room and then I'm going with you for this procedure tomorrow. "

"No Mike. I don't want you taking time off work for me ..."

"Well as it happens I had already applied for tomorrow and Sunday off and I had planned to surprise you by calling tomorrow and bringing you to Mamma's for a slap up meal to celebrate your new job on Monday."

Steve looked up amazed and studied Mike and Mike could see how touched he was that the older man had been planning that surprise for him.

"You did?"

"Yes. So you see I'm free and easy for tomorrow. I can bring you over there and stay there with you and when they release you we can go and have that meal as planned. How does that sound?"

Steve felt a huge relief that he wasn't going to have to go for the procedure on his own and also that the awkwardness had gone from between them and that it felt like old times again.

"That sounds pretty good Mike. Thanks ..."

"Don't mention it. It's the least I can do. Ok so, why don't you go up and get settled. You can borrow some pyjamas if you need some. You had better try and get a good night sleep for this thing tomorrow."

Steve looked sheepishly again and smiled, this time even wider than before.

"Em, actually I have an overnight bag out in the trunk of the car ... well it's always good to be prepared you know for ... all possibilities ..."

Mike shook his head and started to laugh, reaching out and tossing Steve's hair as he did.

"Oh you do huh? "

"Yeah."

"Well you had better get it then while I put out the fire."

Steve nodded and went outside and came back a few minutes later with a small brown leather hold all bag, yawning as he did.

"Go on hotshot. Go and lie down before you fall down. You look beat. "

"Yeah I'm tired. I didn't sleep too good last night. But you look pretty worn out yourself Mike. Are you staying up?"

"No don't worry. I'll head up in a few minutes. Sleep well. "

"You too ... and ... thanks Mike. It means a lot to me that you'll be with me tomorrow and that ...we're ok ... you and me."

"Steve, we've always been ok, you and me and we always will be. Regardless of whether we work together or not. As far as I' m concerned you're family. Oh and before I forget ... Here ... take this. I want you to have it. "

Mike rummaged in his pocket and retrieved something and then approaching Steve as he had one foot on the bottom stair, he opened Steve's hand, put something in it and closed it again. Steve felt something cold and metal in his hand and opened the fist that Mike had just closed. There on the palm lay a shiny key. It was the key to Mike's front door. A lump came to his throat as he looked back up at Mike.

"So that next time you don't have to sit out in the car waiting for me to come home. Next time just let yourself in and you can have the coffee ready and waiting, ok? My home is your home too ... anytime you need it to be ..."

Steve smiled and nodded his gratitude and closed his fist again around the key as if it were an expensive jewel.

"Goodnight Mike."

"Goodnight Buddy boy."

Mike watched as Steve headed upstairs and then returned to the living room to put out the fire. As he poked at the dying embers he smiled the first real smile since Steve's shooting, realizing that while life had changed drastically for them, the most important things would always stay the same.

 **The End ...**

 **A\N 2: From the research I did, angiograms appear to have been available stateside by the late seventies so I may have taken a little poetic licence by putting that in my story! But oh well! I hope you managed to enjoy it none the less. Until I return God speed to you all .x**

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